my WALK with GOD today – 18


“Eva, I have prayed for you as I sense you are going through a difficult time. I would like to suggest a book to you that might be worth reading. It is called ‘the Prodigal God’ by Tim Keller.” Wrote RB in an email on May 9, 2009, a pastor friend of mine who has a pastoral heart.

I thanked him, and immediately went to a Christian bookstore he suggested, to get that book. When I got the book, I opened it and read in the special page prior to Chapter 1: “prodigal” means recklessly, extravagant, to spend everything … WOW! Beautifully he made the reader go into the truth in Jesus’ parable of a Father who had two lost sons: the selfish youngest son and the self-righteous eldest son.

There is no forgiveness without cost, some one has to pay for it. The elder brother didn’t have the same heart as his Father’s. So we need the true elder brother, Jesus Christ, at His expenses we received the forgiveness we need the most. The Father loves us extravagantly, He gave His only Son—Jesus laid down His life for us. … When I came to that part, I was in tears and was whispering in my heart, “O, Lord, please give me a heart like Yours… .”

The Lord is so gracious to me, as He always is. In answering my prayer, I had to grow through loss and change, I must “work through” them. “Nothing develops our character like handling loss, and the change it brings,” said Bob Gass. It wasn’t easy, but He is with me all the time. He taught me all the lessons needed to, and led me into the depth of His truth.

… Contrary to the local culture the Father graciously grant his youngest son’s request, and then his son left him… deeply grieve caused by the cutting off relationship with his son, … he could neither see nor hear any news from his son, he went through the deep grieve and mourned like his son had passed away although he knew his son still alive, … It made me to understand why in tremendous joy the Father said, “My son was dead and now is alive again!”

The Father didn’t mourn all the time, when the time for mourning was completely over, … only wonderful love out of true forgiveness was in His heart for his son, … It has helped me to see that the most valuable gift the youngest son received from his Father was that kind of love and that kind of forgiveness out of a prodigal heart! Accept it and go into His banquet!

The Father had the same heart, love, and forgiveness for his eldest son, but we didn’t know  whether at last he made up his mind to go into the banquet or not … . The Lord Jesus left the story open.

The time for mourning was completely over, … I can only find that kind of love out of true forgiveness in my heart…  I could not even trace the scar anymore, perfectly healed!

🙂 eva kristiaman


my WALK with GOD today – 14

The grace of the Lord…

The Lord loves us, and spent every thing, even His only Son, to give His life for us…

but when some one doesn’t want to be loved, and saved… He loves us still

and has offered the opportunity until the last second in our life… He makes me understand Him… why He is looking for one lost sheep until He finds him…

He always makes himself available for us…

He shows His characters to me… so that I may know His heart better…

🙂 eva kristiaman